A “Grid” to Guide

A client came back to me demanding a partial refund of what she paid me on a translation job which I submitted before Christmas. Since this is the first time this happened, I couldn't sleep for a week until I met with the one who passed me this project. She showed me the marks on the translation I did in order to make me understand why my translation is "wrong." But she also did me a wonderful favor; she asked another person to evaluate the translation and he came up with the following conclusions:

1 The manager who is not a first language speaker relied on her typesetters to check whether Tagalog "matched" the English.
2 The “checkers” (typesetters) merely re-ordered the words and re-set the syntax that made the translation formal and literal.
3 The checkers picked at every Tagalog that did not match their “ear” and changed it (making the style inconsistent).

Although three translators will translate a text in three different ways, as an editor, I would look at a translation using the “grid” the translator used. Recently, I edited a translation of a manual for kids (7-9 years old). I thought the translation was formal and used words which a seven to nine year old will not understand at once. But I realized that in using a "formal" grid, the translator was being consistent. When I submitted the project, I gave the client a formal note saying I find the translation formal and literal, but that it is consistent and it is "not wrong" translation. I did not touch the translation (read: re-translated according to my whim) but concentrated on copy-editing. I made sure that in back translation, I got the same meaning as the source language.

Saying a translation is “wrong” because it does not match the editor’s (or any checker’s) Tagalog is inaccurate. Translation is wrong only when the target language changes the meaning of the source language. But the translation can be formal, colloquial, informal, or conversational.

A What? A Grid!
For me, what determines the "grid” is the age and milieu of the reader. If the translation used the wrong grid, the originator probably failed to make this clear. Would a kindergarten say "Nais ko po ng ice cream" or "Gusto ko po ng Ice Cream"? (I want Ice Cream) Would a High School student say "Ibig ko ng lanzones"? or “Type ko ang Lanzones"? (I want Lanzones)

In my own grid, which is based on common usage, Tagalog words fall under specific level of abstractions. (*popular, **standard, ***formal) Depending on the reader, the choice must be consistent. Of course there is always room for variation to make the style more dynamic and engaging. And the right syntax should follow. But even this should be dictated by the tone, which can either be "serious, humorous, detached, intimate etc." Here are quick examples:

*Puwede (can be) - **Maaari
*Gusto (want/like)- **Nais - ***Ibig
*Baka (maybe/might/probably) - **Siguro -***Marahil
*istorya (story) **kuwento***salaysay
*grabe/ sobra (too much) **napaka-(plus) ***labis-labis
*tama na (enough) **tama na ***husto na

Some words are too technical or too academic that transliteration is the best way to express them in Tagalog; or they should not be translated at all. Academic excellence – Kahusayang pang-akademiko [“akademiko” is transliteration]; “Kahusayan sa larangan ng Edukasyon” might not be accurate).
(Film strip- Film strip-Bahagi lamang ng Pelikula or Kaputol lamang ng Pelikula [part of a film, cut of a film] are the nearest translations.

What's Wrong?
Whatever grid was used, as long as the meaning was translated accurately, the translation is not wrong.

The following is a sample of wrong translation:
Source: “D.L. Moody was the greatest evangelist of the nineteenth century. He preached to more people than anyone ever had up to that point in history.”

There is a typo error that changed the meaning of the sentence.
Target: “Si D.L. Moody ay ang pinakadakilang ebanghelista noong 19th century. Nag-aral siya ng mas maraming taon higit kaninuman sa panahong yaon.”

The word ‘nag-aral’ means studied and not preached. The word ‘taon’ means year. 'Maraming tao’ is the right translation for people.”

The translation should be (approximately):
“Si D.L Moody ay ang pinakadakilang ebanghelista noong ika-19 na siglo. Higit kaninuman, nangaral siya sa mas maraming tao sa panahong iyon ng kasaysayan."

Translation Difficulties
The trickiest phrase in this sentence is “than anyone ever had”. This probably means that D.L.Moody had more listeners than other evangelists before him. Or his congregation was bigger than everybody else's. The vagueness dictates that maybe, the best way to translate this is "literally", and let the reader get the vagueness of the original. But of course, one cannot always be a purist and say that translation excludes “interpretation or reading between the lines” (more of this in future blogs). Much of translation is interpretation, especially because culture is a factor in decoding the text.

Translation is always difficult and the clients always have their own grid. From the experience above I learned that before I do any translation, I should first present the client with my “grid” and a “style sheet” and ask them to check their preferred style and tone (more of these in future blogs). I can not assume that clients will always want me to translate with merely their readers in mind. Probably, I should also have an idea of who will check the translation. Often, in my experience, "checkers" just want to turn the text into “Tagalog”, as if merely changing the language would automatically make it accessible to its readers.

Contract
In my confirmation sheet, which I always ask the client to sign before I begin my work, a provision says that if I don't hear any feedback from the client in two weeks after delivery of translation, I will assume that the translation was accepted and deemed satisfactory. In the case above, my translation was delivered in December and feedback came only in February. Hopefully, the contract will protect me so I can confidently say to the client that giving a refund is not possible. How I wish though that editors of translation will be careful in applying the red pen until they have fully considered one objective parameter: the profile of the target reader.