So Ngayon Isang Linggo

… so ngayon, isang linggo akong magmamadali. Halos dalawang buwan na akong nagbabasa. Basa ako nang basa ng tungkol sa translation kasi madami akong practice pero wala akong theories, tapos ituturo ko, dun pa sa mga di naman Tagalog. Lahat ng examples ko sa module English to Tagalog. Mamajikin ko yata ang presentation. Isang buwan na ako actually napa-panic. Well, di naman talaga panic. Actually palit-palit na panic, boredom, panic, boredom. Bored na ko kasi ang gusto ko basahin e nobela. Di na nga ako nakakatula.

Pero kasi I have to come up with a learning module for translation. For concrete examples, ginamit ko ang marami sa mga sarili kong translation. Ginawan-gawan ko ng labels. E ang hahaba nung tables, kaya ayun, sa editing pa lang, inabot ako ng isang linggo. Nagawa ko na ito nung isang taon pero di ba dapat I should do better this time? Baka naman kasi ulitin ko lang yung nasabi ko na- same audience pa naman ito – sa Phnom Phen baga, sponsored ng Fount of Blessings. So kada huwebes at biyernes, basa, basa, basa ako sa library. Eh ang kaso, dahil library yun, kung anu-anong magazine ang binabasa ko. Pati coffee-table books - irresistible. E di ko rin naman napuro yung time sa pagbabasa ng tungkol sa translation lang. I therefore conclude that studying in libraries is not always productive.

Dalawang library lang naman ang malimit kong pinuntahan Filipinas saka ATS. Kasi yung Filipinas malapit sa condo ng kapatid ko, yung ATS naman malapit sa tinutuluyan ko sa QC. Nagpunta din ako sa National Library kaya lang bat ganun dun, alas otso ako dumating, alas nuwebe na yung mga librarian nagmo-morning rituals pa. Hirap pa maghanap ng libro. Dilim dilim. eh malabo ang mata ko no. Dami ko reklamo. Kaya di na ko bumalik dun. Tapos dun sa Filipinas library – lammmmig. Ay, nagpunta din pala ako sa Bread of Life library. Dun naka-aral ako. At saka kasi ang lakas ng ulan noon. Di ako makalipat ng library. Walang masyadong distractions dun. Good ambiance. Soooo quiet. Then when you're tired, go to Solarium. Majority of the books on their shelves are really for pastors. At dun naman sa ATS Library, dami tsika, kasi kada eskuwela ko at colleague na makita ako, "Hi Ma’am long time no see," sabi nila. Kasi wala ako load ngayon sa ATS. Tapos ayun na, tsikahan na. Kaya ako naman kakaunti tuloy ang nagawa. Yung whole day, half day na lang. Pero hapi naman ako dun sa mga pa lunch lunch ko with my former students.

Ay naku, in the end, kinuha ko lahat ng ituturo ko dito sa book na Towards a Science of Translating: With Special Reference to Principles and Procedures Involved in Bible Translating by Eugene Nida. Phinotocopy ko ito actually sa National Library. Bawal ba yan? Happily napaka-comprehensive. Binuno ko yung 239 pages, halos mabutas-butas na sa underlining at highlighting. Nagkaka-vertigo na ako sa kakaulit-ulit dahil nakow, mga prends, di madaling basahin. Pero, I recommend NIDA to all translators. So dito ko na kinuha lahat. Eh naconfirm ko rin, marami naman pala akong ginagawang tama sa pagta-translate ko, di ko nga lang alam ang tawag. At least ngayon, kahit papaano, nadagdagan ang vocabulary ko for what I'm doing. I had a limited vocabulary of translation principles, but somehow, it has expanded. Now I can share it. Praise God.

Kaya eto na po. Sa isang lingo, ang balak kong gawin ay mag-aral-lang nang mag-aral ng ginawa kong module. Nasulat ko na, kaya lang ngayon naman kailangan kong practisin at padaliin kasi napaka-teknikal talaga ng mga theories. Yung book na ginamit ko nung isang taon, nawala sa eroplano. Sayang. I forgot the title. Maganda rin yun. Taught me something about semantics, syntactics, and pragmatics in translation. ANO YAN? Yan mga prends ang kaso dito. Kahit magbasa ako nang magbasa, feeling ko di ako talaga magiging at home sa linguistics sa sobrang kateknikalan.

Paano ko kaya padadaliin ang lahat ng natutuhan ko for the participants and interpreter? Yan ang aking hurdle ngayon mga prends.

Pupunta ako dun sa site ng kapatid ko (dun sa resort nya na wala pang tao, kaya akin ang kuwarto. Plugging you are all invited to hold your exclusive celebrations at low cost in that resort -- birthday, wedding, debut, or just chilling out with friends. Will post pictures later kasi di pa yaring-yari eh. Pero maganda ang lugar. Right at the heart of Batangas.) Ideally, magsu-swimming ako tuwing umaga (may pool nga!) para naman ako’y may exercise kuno to stir up my already exhausted brain. O di ba sosyal, may private pool. hehe

Ang hirap talaga. Hirap mag-aral. Hirap magturo. But I keep doing it. And I'm still learning a lot. So I think I'm enjoying it too. Although I keep telling myself "I need a writing sabbatical" - a long time to write - a year maybe?

Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. Kaya lang ay naku, di talaga ako makakapasyal sa Phnom Phen. Di ba dapat when you go to another place kahit paano you can do some sight seeing? Nung isang taon, nagpunta ako Siem Reap. I went to Ankor Wat, pero kasi ang dami ko pa di napuntahan dun. And I didn't even see the Lake. Gusto ko pa sumakay ng elepante hahaha!

Sa Phnom Phen, I will keep my fingers crossed kung makatapak ako kahit man lang dun sa Royal Palace kasi malapit lang daw yun. I have only one day spare kasi apat na araw yung seminar. APAT NA ARAW 8 to 5 yun mga prends. I think God is pleased at this. At ang priority ay siyempre, yung maging effective yung module at maka-fellowship naman sa mga participants. Last year, they all came from para-church organizations. So much translation needs for Christian literature. I think God wants me to do this. Nung isang taon, di na ako nakapunta sa mga invitations nila. Sana this time, makabonding naman ako at makatsika nang mahaba-haba with new friends.

Gusto ko sanang magpunta dun sa “Killing Fields” kaya lang parang ayaw ko rin. Dun na lang sa former prison? Ano kaya? Sasakay lang daw ng Tuktuk. Pero iniisip ko, why would I want to see the grim remains of Pol Pot's cruelty? Why are those places tourist attractions in the first place? on second thought, I shouldn't even ask these questions. I should have no expectations. Who knows? Sabi nga ni Gypsy (read her blog you will be blessed, klick at the link here) God is extravagant when He gives.

Excited ako talaga kaya lang takot din. I also feel privileged kasi kahit paano, I am somehow contributing a tiny something that may matter toward the healing of that battered land. Ilan kaya ang participants? Sana naman may matutunan sila. Nakaka-ingles naman lahat yun, kaya lang, ako hindi nakakapag-Khmer. Tapos translation ang usapan namin? Hayyyy. Kaya ngayon… isang lingo akong magmamadali.

Last Quarter Wail

September and I'm at tail's end of at least five projects. Can't complain at all about this year's provisions from the Almighty, but I wish I were faster. Why is it so difficult to meet deadlines? Partly, it's the heat. Partly, it's my health. Partly it's domestic glitches, but mostly it's boredom.

I read about friends going here and there, on writing grants, M.A. scholarships, year sabbaticals, long-term missions... and the world goes... and I'm here in my room... talking... to the internet.

Yesterday, I saw a friend from college at the bank. After two sentences of small talk, we were both quiet. There was nothing to talk about, the good old days were just to far off, and when she left, she did not even say goodbye. Maybe she forgot to say goodbye, maybe, like me, she was embarrassed at this huge gap we have when we used to be so close.

The thing I dread most these past week is the computer. I've been going to the library for at least three weeks now, just reading anything and basking at the coldness. It's my perfect escape. I watched Bourne Identity part III twice and enjoyed it both times. I went to Solarium and spent a total of a day praying.

I fixed my house in Cavite, installed new bathroom tiles, cabinets, pipes. I have all these plans of spending week-ends there, write, draw, or sleep. But I see these tricycles lined up right in front of my gate. There are no provincial settings anymore, everywhere, it's an urban jungle. Then I pray, Lord, I want a house with a view.

Got to "dispense with" this restlessness somehow. Got to be in the center of His will.

Down on my knees now.

James 4:13-17 "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."

Wrecked Routine

So much for routine and schedules; I see that whatever I do, I can’t stay glued to a regular routine. That is, exercise in the morning, read a book at night, bum around on Sunday afternoon, eat some fish ball or munch mais bought from around the corner at meryenda – for me to grow rounder – yeah, all for health, and health for all.

The reason is that my work is such that I am doing at least five tasks, all with pressing deadlines. I remember my supervisor in my past work: she used to say that our work is like juggling. I thought when I resigned from that job that I would stop juggling and stay focused in one main dream of my getting-old life: WRITING. In fact, this is only the second time I’m writing in two months – not bad? one writing a month? HELLO! See even my writing here is getting, well, very common. I’m already getting tired, dreaming about writing. But don’t misinterpret me: I am very thankful for this present bulk of work, it’s only that I wish I have an assistant: (so I can write he..he)

An assistant will help me
1 run errands such as when paying taxes, SSS, Philhealth, Meralco, and Globe bills
2 do my bookkeeping because I am always lost at which to credit when I debit petty cash and other cash-es. I had very low grades in accounting in my liberal arts commerce course back in the 80s. I wish BIR would not require two books. Imagine, you have a journal (not the diary) and a ledger. Up to now I don't have a trial balance because I'm not sure what to balance. There's a perfect imbalance with what I want to earn and what I actually earn so what's the point of keeping books?
3 do the cooking, washing, watering the plants, changing the water in the plant…(wait a minute, I don’t think it’s an assistant I’m looking for here)
4 tally surveys of translation grids (well that’s a business secret so I won’t elaborate)
5 photocopy, print, fax, and file of documents on demand
6 do my invoice (this one is really one that should always be done pronto!)

Does it sound like my teeny-weeny business is on the upsurge? Don’t make that mistake. It’s still very average and manage-ably small. My take home pay (meaning the pay that I am able to put in my wallet and spend right after I placed them there) remains just enough. However, since I’m getting used to the silence of my text-heavy life, I can tolerate more words and am able to stay up later than usual at night simply working. I don’t get to talk much, except of course when my mother talks me out of my silence, and when my siblings and their kids, if they decide to visit our mother, provide the noise that would eventually require me to shout "quiet!" I fear that I may lose my voice already. So sometimes, I listen to my own voice by talking to myself. No there’s no partial insanity here, only a semi-flawed social life. They say that writers have their VOICES and I’m not sure if the voice I’m talking about and the VOICE of the writer in me are the same. But I digress.

No, it’s just peak season ladies and gentlemen. When July comes, rain would pitter patter on my roof and I will have time to compose a poem about it. Meanwhile, I’m fairly booked up to the end of June and I truly thank God for the jobs that come my way. I’m learning to multi-task and I realize that time management is not as simple as putting what to do in my calendar. It’s attending to the urgent, never procrastinating, always making sure nothing is wasted, that is, that even my leisure hours are not spent as leisurely (well, for this one, I hope that this is only for the meantime)

I still get six hours of sleep, I still eat less than others my age do (I eat like my mother, in small amounts. We always have some left over food in the ref so I bought six tiny square tupperwares for this purpose), I still can’t read the Bible on regular hours (although I’m working on Bible texts almost every day) and I am trying very hard not to get a meta-carpal syndrome. I’m not sure why these details are important in this life but they are to me and to you so whether you like it or not, you sleep long, watch what you eat, read your Bible, and ensure that your work hazard will not be YOURS.

A pastor and his wife visit us every week. They are a godsend really since they take time ministering to my mother. She isn’t able to leave the house anymore without my brother’s car and her wheelchair. When pastor and his wife come, I am forced to turn my PC off however urgent my work is because they come here to simply talk, about their ministry, about our Christian faith, about God's Word with me. We always have a very stimulating conversation which sometimes lasts up to five hours!

Whenever he and his wife visit us, I slow down, I breathe, I bow, I say peace to my wrists, I say peace to my eyes, I say peace to my body.

And then we pray for each other, and I say peace to my soul.

"Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him -- for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work -- this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart." Ecclesiastes 5:18-20