How do you solve a problem like x

He knocks on the gate of this house where he thinks he still belongs. But no, Y, his wife drives him away in hatred. X realizes that he is finally out of Y's life, and he walks away in stooped silence. Where to live, how to survive? He has exhausted all his resources, all his women has left him, all he has are his tattered clothes and slippers.

From Y's home, X has roamed here and there, living on the street. He is 67 years old but he looks like a sick 80. He stares at fathers and children at the entrance of the mall where he stations himself selling cigarettes. Half drunk he recognizes a son coming towards him, all his children in tow and he tells them this is Lolo. Instantly, X opens his palms in the manner of a beggar and asks for money. The son refuses to give him anything saying he will just buy gin with it. X has actually just been thrown out of a shack built for him by another son, because he is stealing construction materials intended for building this son's house. No hesitation there for the son; he can so easily drive X away for he considers X a nuisance, an embarrassment.

He persists in asking for money and the son gives in, but with a stern warning not to ask for money again. No hesitation there for this son, too, in talking down to X because X has been so long absent in his life line, it is as if X unfortunately resurrected from the dead.

X thanks the dry season, almost no rain this July, he can sleep soundly by the roadside in his makeshift bed of gathered plywood and boxes. He guards his treasure of cigarettes and candies in an overused plastic bag. He still thinks of building himself a hut, and decides that he can do this beggar-style existence as long as he can still sell cigarettes. He hasn't taken a bath in a month.

He likes staying just around the corner of where his son works. Occasionally he sees him and asks for money. This son babbles something like while X thinks only of himself, he is thinking of three sons, who he intends to bring up the way a father should bring up their sons. And X after a long silence says that's the right way to go, do not be like me.

He finds favor with the wife of the other son and finally, he is able to eat real bread. He sees first daughter and asks for money to buy this very same bread, nutritious and filling. The daughter looks hard at him and says no money for you because you are an alcoholic, but wait, I will buy your bread and have someone bring it to you. X lies saying he hasn't drunk alcohol in three days. He realizes that eating that bread is a luxury.

He completely forgets he has a fifth child. When he sees her he can't figure out how old or young she is. He can't memorize her face, does not feel at all connected. Meanwhile, his second daughter one day arrives at his son's construction site, and she passes him by without even looking. She gets into her car and leaves as fast as she comes. He senses that she has completely erased him from her life.

Right now, he feels hunger, for his son's company, he eats alone in his makeshift bed, he wears a hat to protect himself from the sun, but he is not protected from the angry stares of his children. He goes back to his youth and does not have a memory of his children's childhood. Who he remembers is Z, a daughter by a woman he loved but who did not love him in return.

Somehow, he feels hopeful whenever his sons and daughters talk to him, at least, even with resentment in their eyes, they still call him Tatay.